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Woman
(I am not a woman; so any attempt to define her is always going to be a clumsy attempt. Rather, I attempt this blog to simply express my impressions about this most wonderful creation of God. Woman remains an enigma for all men. Woman and God can never be fathomed easily by men. The moment you attempt to describe either, you begin to fail. )
History is evidence to the fact that only that country prospers where women are free, independent and respected. This is the single most important factor in development of any society. Any nation or race, which attempts to bind down women and hinder their development, struggles to survive. If India today is marching ahead, if it appears hopeful, it is largely because of the betterment in position of women in its society. If we compare the progress made by men and women in the past, say, 50 years, women have progressed far ahead of their counterparts. The progress of India became retarded since past several centuries because society stifled the growth of women. While the women in most of developed countries enjoyed freedom, we kept our own women tied down by outdated, retrograde and superstitious customs of the society. As a result we lagged behind. The resurgent India that we see today is due to resurgence of this women power. Today she is everywhere. The freedom is so heartening to see. For those on iLand, nowhere it is more visible than in iLand itself. The most beautiful of poetries, the most wondrous of write-ups, the most creative of stories are all by women. The men lag far behind. The kind of honesty and sincerity displayed by women in their thoughts and writings, the kind of warmth displayed by them in their blogs, the kind of maturity displayed by them while commenting and writing is far superior in content and spirit than their male counterparts. While I have found a number of pseudo-intellectuals and posers amongst the men, I couldn’t find a single woman on iLand who could be labeled as a pseudo-blogger.
This land has always accorded the highest respect to the female species. This is the country where women are worshipped as Gods. But series of invasions and our failure to protect our women resulted in them getting subdued and restrained. Times have changed. This wondrous manifestation of Shakti is slowly yet gradually revealing her full glory and power. India is awakening and once again Mother is leading its resurgence.
This splendid new found freedom is accompanied by new social tensions which are only to be expected as we adjust to the changes. Today’s woman is grappling with her new found identity and is yet to come to terms with her expanded roles. There is this role of a mother and a homemaker and then there are aspirations of building a career, of achieving financial and emotional independence, of pursuing talents and interests. The apparent conflict is taking its toll as the number of single women rises significantly. Marital discords are building up and emotional failures are on the rise. Responsibilities of motherhood are influencing more and more women to opt for live-in or casual relationships or no-kids pact. While this satisfies the physical urge to some extent, her emotional needs continue to prickle her. A woman is essentially a huge reservoir of love. She epitomises love and warmth. The joy of motherhood satisfies her emotional needs to a great extent. The child is her own, very own, which cannot be denied. That is her ultimate possession and culmination of her love. That’s her expansion and an extension, which adds several dimensions to her personality. And that’s the irony. While motherhood is in apparent conflict to her search for freedom, the denial of it is denial of emotional satisfaction and a contraction of her personality. While marriage could be in conflict with her desires of independence, denial of it could mean denial of emotional dependence. Therein lies the contradiction. Couple these with her physiological peculiarities and you have a modern stressed out woman yearning for her true identity as she silently broods over her future. Why cant she just be herself? Why cant she just live it? Why should her future be dependent on what others want from her? Why this dependence? Why should she look in others for her happiness? Why should others only take it from her? What does she really want and why? She is tired of giving. Still she is willing to go just that bit extra.
One cannot totally discard the Freudian concepts of a woman’s stress. Traditionally, she has always suppressed her innate desires. Never the one to express them, for historically she wasn’t allowed to do so freely by a physically stronger male dominated society, she has silently learnt to stifle them. More often than not, such has been the influence, that she herself, at times, is unwilling to admit the presence of these desires. Confronted, she is more likely to back out than admit them. This has often led to generation of stress leading to physiological problems as well. The more determined ones are able to ride over these issues by resorting to Bhakti, thereby, offering their unconditional love to the Supreme One. It is no mere coincidence that one finds women more amenable to listen to spiritual talks than an egoistic man.
The modern woman is coming out but the old questions persist. There are no easy answers. But there is excitement in the air. There is hope. India is abuzz with this new wave of womanhood. In their enthusiasm, many of them are attempting to prove that they can do everything better than a man. And therein lurks the danger. A woman’s Shakti lies in her womanhood not in competing with her male counterpart. She IS stronger in so many ways. She IS an equal in every way. There is no need to prove it. Prove it for whom? She is the ‘Janani’. Her strength lies in her capacity to love selflessly. She is an epitome of sacrifice. She personifies compassion, purity and faithfulness. Power doesn’t mean doing everything that a man does. Power doesn’t mean doing drugs. Power doesn’t mean smoking cigarettes and declaring oneself as liberal. Power doesn’t mean being a live-in partner or getting cozy in public. Power doesn’t mean wearing plunging necklines. That’s not liberation. That’s plain lust being masqueraded and paraded in the garb of liberation. That’s plain surrender to the demeaning demands of the lust of men. That’s plain sex.
Nevertheless, its so heartening to see the freedom with which the woman of today is going about her affairs. Years ago, I happened to visit Mizoram. The state of woman out there was so different from the rest of the country. You could find them everywhere in Aizwal, happily smiling and singing together, smoking together, freely laughing and walking together on streets with gay abandon and heads held up. No such scary looks, no hurried steps. So wonderful it was. India is progressing and we all owe a lot to our women. She must continue to shine and shatter the shackles imposed on her by a male dominated society. Its better to have Malaika Aroras and Mallika Sherawats than sulking, depressed and harassed Dularis and Kamlas, unable to look up because of their forced dependencies. There is still a long way to go but the journey has begun. The fetters have been broken. She isn’t asking for favours anymore. She is only demanding her rights and getting it. We love you girls for this. We love you. Keep going ahead.
“Who are you to solve women"s problems? Are you the Lord God that you should rule over every widow and every woman? Hands off! They will solve their own problems.” --- Vivekananda
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